Censored
by drunkdragon
Summary: After the war, Sumia decided to publish the feats of the Shepherds. Chrom, however, didn't quite like it. And she worked so hard to make him all majestic and the like, too. But at least the make-up sex was great.


Hi everyone. So once again I'm not exactly too sure where this piece comes from, but I find it as a bit of a reprieve while I work on _True Grit_. I do, however, have to give some credit to _A Moving On Relationship's_ author Viral020, as some of this does stem from his description of Sumia in its epilogue.

The subject matter, however, is entirely its own beast. You can view this as a follow-up of _Dragon Riding_, or you can see it as its own stand-alone story. Your call.

I won't go into too much details until after the piece, so go ahead and take a read.

I also want to thank Guybrush007, who beta'd this magnificent piece of work.

I do not own Fire emblem.

This fic is brought to you by the letter ribalding.

* * *

_Dedicated to all lemon writers. All of them. Keep on writing that wordporn._

* * *

Censored

It was supposed to be a sabbatical for Chrom. With his duties as the Exalt of Ylisse, there were many roles he had to play and numerous documents to sign. But with Robin's long-overdue official promotion to his chief advisor, his friend finally convinced him to take a day off.

Naturally, it was spent with Sumia, who loved books. Their time together would probably be spent in the library reading together until one of them fell asleep.

But she had other ideas that day.

"So you wrote a story about us?" he asked her.

"Not just about us, Chrom! About all of us as Shepherds! But you're the main character, of course. I mean, you're the Exalt and all that! How can you not be the main character?" She seemed excited to have him proofread her work and seeing her smile was infectious.

He took the script and started reading.

"I hope you like the ending! I worked really hard on it!"

* * *

_"There are better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know. Give me your hand."_

_In the most chivalrous manner, Chrom extended his manly hand to the lying figure. His blue hair fell majestically from his head, the light from the sun giving him the halo of an angel. With both fear and excitement brewing within, the person reached out and grabbed the hand, letting him pull her up._

_Brown hair fell sexily over one of her eyes, her figure accented by the most graceful of breasts. Why, if it wasn't for common decency, he might have bed her right then and there. Her one visible eye stared deeply into his blue_

* * *

"Wait, Sumia," Chrom looked up from the parchment, "why is Robin a woman? And why are you describing her like she's some kind of… vixen?"

"Oh, it's to increase the sexual tension between you two!"

He stared at her like there was something in her teeth. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

"I mean, think about it! You find an amnesiac girl in a field, and then you two go off and save the world together! Don't you think that if it happened that way, you'd have some kind of feelings for her?"

"Sumia, I-"

"Oh, here," she said somewhat excitedly and flipped past some pages, opening up a new chapter. "You should like this part. You're just about to defeat Gangrel."

* * *

_The fat slob of a man gave a final pained gurgle as Chrom withdrew the might Falchion from his belly, the sword coated with blood. They had won. It was a long, hard fought victory, but they triumphed over the mad, obese, and ugly King Gangrel. Upon seeing their leader fall, the rest of the Plegian soldiers surrendered._

_"Looks like we've won thanks to your plan, Robin."_

_"It was my pleasure," the woman said as she casually slinked over to the lord, breasts softly bouncing with each step, "A man like that deserves far worse than death. We did him a favor out of decency."_

_Flicking the blood off Falchion, he placed it back into its sheathe before hearing a pair of pegasus wings flapping nearby. Turning around, he saw Sumia almost fall off her pegasus before she ran into his arms._

_"Oh, my lord!" the pegasus knight held him as tightly as she could. "I'm so glad to see you safe!"_

_"Sumia, are you… are you crying?"_

_He looked into her glistening eyes and felt his heart melt at that old smile she gave him. His could not help but encircle his arms around her._

_"Seeing you fight like that against Gangrel… I… I just… I was so scared!" she buried her head into his chest again. Robin merely watched, at first contemplative but then with a small smile on her lips. Getting Chrom's attention, she winked at him before leaving the two alone._

_"Oh, Chrom, I don't care about it anymore. I love you and just want to be at your side forever in everything! Even though… Even though I…"_

_He hushed her with a kiss. "Don't worry, Sumia, we'll pull through together somehow. We'll find a way to make it work."_

* * *

"Well, it's not exactly what I would call accurate, but I never really liked Gangrel anyway."

"Exactly! Which is why he deserves to be a fat slob who gets impaled by your Falchion!"

"But… didn't you land the final blow on him?"

"But it's so much more regal and dashing when it's you! The main character should get everything, right?"

"I suppose you raise a good point about that. And though your confession isn't exactly the way I remember it, it does feels nice to read," he felt his lips rise at the memory of it. At least that part didn't seem to have changed too much.

But… what exactly did she mean by 'even though'?

"Oh, then I think you'll like it when it comes to our wedding night!"

Chrom suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. "I don't think going into our personal relationship like this is smart, Sumia." Still, he was curious. "What page is that on?"

* * *

_Hands glided down his naked body, making him shudder. He tried to pass the same to feeling to Sumia, but it felt as if his confidence had been cut in half._

_"Sorry, Sumia," he said to his wife, "I know I'm not this nervous, usually."_

_"M-Me too, Chrom. I mean, it'll be a new feeling for both of us. I've never-"_

_He put a finger on her lips and softly stared into her eyes. "I think it'll be easier if we just do what-"_

_But he was cut off, finishing his sentence with a deep groan. Briefly closing his eyes, he gazed down at the sudden source of the pleasure and felt his eyes widen. He saw his other wife Robin and her uncovered eye steamily gazing back at him as her mouth consumed his brand on his member, her lips expertly gliding down all twelve inches of his thick, exalted meatstick._

_Chrom briefly wondered if Robin was trained in seducing both men and  
_

* * *

Oh.

So _that's_ what she meant.

"Twelve inches?" he was flabbergasted and shot a look at his wife. "Sumia, what-… what is going on here? First you turn Robin into a girl, and now you-… you-"

"But Chrom! I thought you'd be happy sporting a huge… umm… uh..."

"And _other wife_? Why is this female Robin even here in the middle of our marriage in the first place?" he wanted to tear the whole draft into shreds. "And you're making her sound like she was some common, immoral whore in her forgotten past! Did you think about how Robin would feel about all this if he somehow got his hands on it? It even sounds like this female Robin somehow seduced _both_ of us!"

"But it's not Robin, Chrom, it's _female_ Robin! They're two totally different-"

"You're drawing inspiration from who he is as a person! How did this female version get you to even allow her into our relationship?"

"But the idea of this forbidden love is just so alluring! A man and two women that can't seem to get enough of either member in their company of three! They all know it's wrong, but they do it anyway! It starts out with her seducing you out of my hands. Then I go along with it because I still loved you no matter what. And then the female Robin decides that it's better to be lovers than enemies and proceeds to seduce me as well and-"

"And why is the Brand of the Exalt on my _penis_, of all places?"

"It's supposed to be symbolic, Chrom!" she pleaded. "Since Robin is Grima, it's alluding to the fact that the dragon will almost kill you later in the story, hence why she 'consumes' the brand!" But the answer seemed to go unheard by the lord.

"Gods! Twelve inches!" His hands gestured at his groin. "I mean, was I…" he was lost for words as he looked back up at his wife. He settled for "Why did you make me so huge in this story?"

"Because it makes the scene even steamier and I thought you would appreciate it! You ramming me from behind with your giant member in fevered abandon as female Robin makes me eat her out while she kisses you just sounds so intense, it was impossible to not put it in! Oh, and it's got an amazing finisher where female Robin grabs my head and mashes her lips against mine in frenzied love and lust while your spurting package covers us with-"

"Member? _Package?_" Chrom stared hard at her, his voice dripping with disbelief. "Sumia, surely you know that it's a penis, right?"

"I know what a penis is, Chrom!" If the situation wasn't so stupid, he would have enjoyed the blush on her cheeks. He could only pray that they were alone in the library.

"Then why don't you just call it a penis?"

"But you can't write the word 'penis' in a story, it'll look amateur and crude!" she fretted. "I mean, think of the audience! You can't just go around writing the word 'penis' in every book! You'll shock and offend them! You have to use euphemisms like 'endowment' or 'member' or 'cock' or 'package' or-"

He lifted his hand in surrender, silently signaling her to stop. She wasn't exactly answering his questions, and when she gave a response it only made him angrier. Taking a breath, he calmed himself down before looking at Sumia again.

"Sumia, look, I appreciate literary pursuits, but this…" he pointed at her manuscript. "I don't even know how these ideas got into your story. I mean, it's like some lust-driven maniac sat down with a pen and wrote out as many ridiculous and impossible fantasies that could fit on a piece of paper!"

"So… you don't like it?" she sounded so crestfallen that it almost hurt. Almost.

"No, I don't like what I've read so far."

"Oh…" she sighed to herself, "then you probably won't like the en-"

She bit her lip, but too much had already escaped.

"… It gets worse than this?" Chrom felt his brow rise.

"I'll uh… I-I'll be taking that back now, dear."

* * *

_Chrom lay in bed. "Wow… that was amazing."_

_Robin slid her body up, her skin glowing in the pale moonlight. "You were pretty amazing, too."_

_"You seemed to really enjoy this. Should we have another go?" Sumia said from the side, her hands feeling like __soft electricity from a thunder tome _ as they slid lower once more.

_"Already on it," the second Robin replied as her hands rose to Chrom's tits while pushing her tongue into her sopping wet  
_

* * *

"Sumia, why are there two Robins? And how did I go from having an exalted meatstick to growing a vagina and a pair of breasts?"

"That's your third wife, GrimaRobin! It's the personification of Grima, which while seeking to bring destruction still retains her love and lust for Chrom and is thus lost in the balance!"

"How… How did I even become a woman? None of this makes any sense! "

"Um… Tharja hexed you? If you didn't skip to the end, you'd know that she tried to-"

"That's _not_ the point, Sumia!"

* * *

In the end, both of them spent the night on the proverbial royal couch. Neither was quite happy with the other when it came to the story, but both found themselves craving the touch of the other. The next morning, bothered by frustrated lust and, indicated by how they seemed to press themselves against the other oh-so-gently every now and then, just a bit of guilt, they proceeded to fuck the daylights out of each other.

"Do you love my exalted meatstick? Do you?"

"Y-Yes! I love your exalted meatstick! It's-"

"Do you really need twelve inches, Sumia?"

"Nn-ahhh-! No!"

A worried Robin interrupted them by knocking on the door leading to the royal chambers.

"Chrom? I know you've been… um… busy in there with Sumia for quite a while, but-"

"Not now, Robin! I want her to be so sore that she can't walk tomorrow!"

"I'm pretty sure she won't even be able to sit down tomorrow, and I-"

"We're saving that rabbit hole for later!" Sumia yelled.

His friend must have paused for a sigh neither could hear over their lovemaking. "Look, Chrom, just come out already. I really think you should see this."

There was a low, annoyed groan. A storming of feet was accompanied by Chrom cracking open the door just enough to slip his head through.

Before him were two Robins, one standing, the other somehow still asleep and snoring despite looking like he was dragged here. "I-I don't know what happened exactly, but I think Tharja-"

"At least we're not women," the lord growled as he shut the door on his friend, who was absolutely flabbergasted.

"Chrom!" Robin yelled from behind the barrier, "What is that supposed to _even_ imply? I mean, that can be taken so out of context that-"

He'd probably apologize to him tomorrow, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

Like getting to that rabbit hole.

* * *

A/N: Hope you've enjoyed the piece as much as I enjoyed writing it. We have a bit of 4th wall breaking, though it's more implied than explicitly stated. Also, it was really fun to just mess around writing a fic about Sumia writing a fic and Chrom being forced to brave the shenanigans. Personally, I like to believe that there's a little bit of (this) Sumia inside all of us, because at one point or another we probably all want to see our OTPs just go at it with each other.

This story is rather short. It's not meant to be supremely descriptive, and Sumia's writing and dialogue is supposed to be weird and raunchy when it comes to the sex. It is meant to be crude and physical as opposed to being emotionally driven. It also makes me wonder whether or not this could be considered a lemon. I'm honestly not too sure of it myself because while it's the topic of the story, it doesn't exactly treat itself or play out like one, but I wonder what others feel of it.

On another note, let's play Two Truths and a Lie.

1. It was my birthday this Sunday.

2. I want to write a semi-submissive shotaRobin x kinda-dominant pedoTharja fic. I have a feeling it will span about five or so chapters.

3. I'm deathly afraid of roller coasters.

4. I'm bad at lying.

5. _True Grit_ will probably be updated some time this week.

Have a great holiday season!

And yes, that is an allusion to anal sex. You're not second guessing yourself.


End file.
